Carelessly Confident?
I am a full 8 weeks pregnant (8 wks, 1 day) today. I know most miscarriages occur in the first 12 weeks... So I've still got a full month before I'll feel comfortable really announcing it to the world. But still, knowing I should wait one more month, I just can't shake the feeling that things are okay now. I feel safe. Like everything's going as it should, there are no signs of anything other than a normal, healthy pregnancy, and Baby is going to be here, happy and healthy and beautiful, in October.
My stomach is really starting to show. As Wendy at work said, if you didn't know what my body was like before, you wouldn't look at me and think I'm pregnant, but for anyone who's paying attention, it's clear what's going on. I'm trying to wear the loosest clothing I have when out with friends to help keep it under wraps a little while longer, but I'm quickly running out of loose clothing. I keep an eye out when at Wal Mart or Target for loose, flowy tops that will work as "transitional" pieces and for pants or skirts that look like they're stretchy enough to last a while. I'm not spending my hard-earned money just yet, though... But it won't be long. Every week I think the coming weekend will be when I have to give in and buy some more clothes, but when the weekend comes around, I try to convince myself I have another week left. I'm down to only one pair of jeans I can comfortably wear though (and even those aren't all that comfortable around the waist tonight!), and every pair of work pants I own is uncomfortable now, too. I think one or two will last through the next week... But I'm not even sure of that. *SIGH* I guess I should just give in and go buy some tomorrow. One or two pairs, and I could make the old ones last as long as possible without having only two things to wear to work.
It's all so... unreal. And overwhelming. I certainly feel pregnant, but I have a hard time believing I'm pregnant. That first appointment at Dr. Waterman's helped quite a bit in making it all more real for me, but even with the slight bulging in my abdomen and the tenderness and endless fatigue, it just seems too good to be true. I can't wait for the first time I feel Baby kick, much less the first time I'm able to see Baby on an ultrasound! (Unfortunately, unless Dr. Waterman deems it medically necessary to do so earlier, we probably can't afford the extra expense of having an elective ultrasound before the standard 20 weeks.)
I'm fascinated by the changes taking place within my body. I'm amazed when I read about what's happening with Baby each day. When I observe my increased need for water, my absolute inability to make it through a full day without a nap or crippling exhaustion, the way certain foods (i.e. my much-beloved snack cakes, alas!) no longer appeal to me, but I just can't get enough salads or fruit juices or grilled chicken... It's incredible. I love every moment of it. :o)
I'm excited that soon, it won't matter if we tell people. They're going to know without a doubt, because the evidence will be there, clear as day. No one will even have to ask. I'm thrilled about that. I keep toying with the idea of just not telling a lot of my friendly acquaintances, knowing that the next time they see me, they won't have to ask. And soon I'll have pictures of my growing belly to post online so everyone can see my joy.
This is awesome. It's a shame Asher doesn't get to experience it as fully as I do. I feel like, at this stage, for him, it's all worry and finances and "What will she let me have for dinner tonight?" I can't wait until he can put his hand on my tummy and feel Baby kicking along with me, or when he holds my hand as we get our first glimpse of our Little One. I know he wants a girl, and for his sake, I hope Baby is. If Baby's a boy, though, it will be far from disappointing to me. I really couldn't care less what Baby's gender is. I just want to give birth to a healthy Baby. :o)
My stomach is really starting to show. As Wendy at work said, if you didn't know what my body was like before, you wouldn't look at me and think I'm pregnant, but for anyone who's paying attention, it's clear what's going on. I'm trying to wear the loosest clothing I have when out with friends to help keep it under wraps a little while longer, but I'm quickly running out of loose clothing. I keep an eye out when at Wal Mart or Target for loose, flowy tops that will work as "transitional" pieces and for pants or skirts that look like they're stretchy enough to last a while. I'm not spending my hard-earned money just yet, though... But it won't be long. Every week I think the coming weekend will be when I have to give in and buy some more clothes, but when the weekend comes around, I try to convince myself I have another week left. I'm down to only one pair of jeans I can comfortably wear though (and even those aren't all that comfortable around the waist tonight!), and every pair of work pants I own is uncomfortable now, too. I think one or two will last through the next week... But I'm not even sure of that. *SIGH* I guess I should just give in and go buy some tomorrow. One or two pairs, and I could make the old ones last as long as possible without having only two things to wear to work.
It's all so... unreal. And overwhelming. I certainly feel pregnant, but I have a hard time believing I'm pregnant. That first appointment at Dr. Waterman's helped quite a bit in making it all more real for me, but even with the slight bulging in my abdomen and the tenderness and endless fatigue, it just seems too good to be true. I can't wait for the first time I feel Baby kick, much less the first time I'm able to see Baby on an ultrasound! (Unfortunately, unless Dr. Waterman deems it medically necessary to do so earlier, we probably can't afford the extra expense of having an elective ultrasound before the standard 20 weeks.)
I'm fascinated by the changes taking place within my body. I'm amazed when I read about what's happening with Baby each day. When I observe my increased need for water, my absolute inability to make it through a full day without a nap or crippling exhaustion, the way certain foods (i.e. my much-beloved snack cakes, alas!) no longer appeal to me, but I just can't get enough salads or fruit juices or grilled chicken... It's incredible. I love every moment of it. :o)
I'm excited that soon, it won't matter if we tell people. They're going to know without a doubt, because the evidence will be there, clear as day. No one will even have to ask. I'm thrilled about that. I keep toying with the idea of just not telling a lot of my friendly acquaintances, knowing that the next time they see me, they won't have to ask. And soon I'll have pictures of my growing belly to post online so everyone can see my joy.
This is awesome. It's a shame Asher doesn't get to experience it as fully as I do. I feel like, at this stage, for him, it's all worry and finances and "What will she let me have for dinner tonight?" I can't wait until he can put his hand on my tummy and feel Baby kicking along with me, or when he holds my hand as we get our first glimpse of our Little One. I know he wants a girl, and for his sake, I hope Baby is. If Baby's a boy, though, it will be far from disappointing to me. I really couldn't care less what Baby's gender is. I just want to give birth to a healthy Baby. :o)
posted by whitkay | 7:29 PM
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