Rollercoaster? Understatement.

I was told (or rather, I read) that I could expect my emotions to be all out of whack, but on some days, I really feel I am going far far FAR above and beyond my responsibilities as a pregnant woman to be emotionally unstable. Now, I recognize that I am predisposed to a certain degree of emotional imbalance, hormones aside. It is that recognition that allows me to justify and *understand* the ridiculous way in which I'm responding to some of the simplest and most ridiculous situations... But, goshdarnit, I don't have to enjoy being crazier than usual.

As far as the rest of it goes... I'm growing rather accustomed to the dietary limitations, the absence of caffeine from my daily routine, and to falling asleep every chance I get to sit still for longer than 3 minutes at a time. It certainly puts a damper on any social life I might aspire to maintain from my old pre-pregnancy life, but I suppose that's all right. After all, I may as well get some sleep now while I've still got the chance. ;o)

I'm terrified about Thursday's appointment. Doctors' offices leave me unbelievably anxious: I tremble and shake, I fidget, I breathe shallowly, and I even cry. This appointment, too, will be a far more *personal* and *intimate* appointment than any other I've experienced, and that just can't possibly make it any less traumatic for me. There's a good chance Asher won't be able to go with me... And that puts me at a great risk for chickening out, as I have done so many, many times before when I just felt I couldn't handle a doctor's appointment... God, I hope my child isn't as weak as I am. I hope Baby grows up strong and confident, capable, determined, and invincible, like Asher. I hope Baby gets nothing more from me than a lot of love. My genes are toxic. I don't want Baby to be anything like me.