Pep Talk

I called Mom the day before yesterday, asking if she had experienced any difficulty letting her guard down after miscarriages. I told her that I want to be excited, but every time I start to think ahead, I freak out and start to worry that I'll jinx it. I told her how, despite there being absolutely no signs of trouble at this stage, I felt like I was always actively looking for signs because I was afraid to be caught unprepared again.

Mom called me yesterday, concerned about the previous day's conversation. She told me I needed to just let go and enjoy this time. She said if this pregnancy comes to term and this is our first child, I won't want to have spent my entire pregnancy worried and distant. She told me I needed to enjoy it while it lasts, because I won't get it back.

I guess it helped. :o) I'm smiling more today. More comfortable having imaginary internal dialogues with my offspring. I'm stopping by the big mirror in reception more frequently to grin at my bulging belly. I'm starting to wonder if I'm carrying a boy or a girl. I even talked to Mom last night at the end of our conversation about what themed baby stuff she's got and how I'll be sure to check with her before buying anything or adding anything to a registry so I can save money as much as possible.

Little One, grow strong and healthy! Don't bail out on me, got it? :o)