Halfway Through, and I May Need a New OB...

That's today's picture, at 17 weeks and 1 day.

There are a lot of questions now about where our baby will be born, who will deliver him/her, and what lies in the future for our little family. We should know by this afternoon whether we're going to stay in Norman or make the move to Carson City, NV so Asher can begin his new job on October 1st.

I'm very excited and terribly anxious. I think moving to Nevada would be a terrific adventure that would bring a LOT of new opportunities for us. It would be strange and unfamiliar, and getting out of our lease here and finding a suitable place to live out there on such short notice would certainly be a challenge, but I believe the move would be a good one for all of us. I'm just ready to know what the future holds, whether Asher will accept that job offer or choose to stay put in Norman...

Asher has given the City of Norman a deadline of noon today to make him a suitable counteroffer, but things are looking bright for Carson City, whether Norman makes a solid offer or not... Guess we'll find out this afternoon!!

Baby Beatings

As I was sitting at my desk this morning, I started to feel... something.

It was like when you feel your pulse throbbing softly in a limb that's half-asleep, or when your stomach's flip-flopping from nerves. It almost felt like a mild nausea, but I couldn't quite place it.

That's when I realized: my baby's beating me up!! And it's FANTASTIC!! :oD

For about ten minutes, it was almost a constant thing, and I had to get up and walk around so I didn't start to feel queasy, but I'm grinning like an idiot and totally thrilled!! I can't wait for them to be strong enough for Asher to feel, too. :oD

Butterflies in my Stomach

...Or, more accurately, in my uterus.

Last night, I felt the first flutterings of Baby's movements. I convinced myself I was crazy and only imagining it, despite feeling it for nearly a half hour while I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. It wasn't until I had been seated at my desk for about 10 minutes without moving and felt the same sensation repeated this morning that I could confirm for myself that yes, I can feel my baby.

I know better than to expect to feel it with any regularity for a while yet, and we've still probably got another month or so to go before the vague fluttery sensation becomes definite punches and kicks, and it could possibly be even later before Asher can feel (and see!) the movements.

For now, though, I can embrace this secret bond we're sharing, feeling each other's movements. It's almost like a silent conversation, taking place every moment of every day, but completely hidden from the outside world.

I am so madly in love with this little baby. Words simply cannot describe.

My Beautiful Little Baby

My Amazingly Spastic Baby

At this afternoon's appointment, we went ahead with the ultrasound. First came all the unpleasantness, though: being felt up by a strange woman, the "two-digit exam", and a Pap smear. YUCK.

After that was over (and it sure was fast!), they slipped in the ultrasound machine, and voila! There before my eyes was a baby that *actually looked something like a baby*!! It was absolutely amazing. I stared in wonder at the clearly defined little head--complete with visible nose, mouth, and ears, the body with bent arms, the perfectly proportional legs, knees, and even feet... And the truly amazing bits: the two sides of the heart, pumping right before my eyes, the tiny ribs, the spine... And BAM! It jerked!!

I couldn't help but jump a little, then laugh. My baby had just punched the inside of my uterus! I watched anxiously, hoping to see another such movement, and to my pleasure, I watched as the baby began twitching its arms quickly, jerking them around, almost as if it were aware we were watching and looking for just such a movement. Then my tiny child curled up into a tighter ball for a moment before extending at full-speed, arms punching upward while legs extended and kicked downward. Protesting the cramped quarters, my love? ;o)

It was ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE watching my little one twitch and jerk and slide around inside me, and I'm terribly excited now about feeling the movements in a few short weeks. I got a single picture to take home with me, which I placed on the fridge door under poetry magnets arranged to read, "I love you." Just for kicks, I also put "soon" and "almost" across the top edges of the sheet, and to the side, "My breast shall quench thee" because hey, if you're gonna have Shakespeare poetry magnets that HAVE words like breast and quench, you might as well put them to good use, right? ;o)

I'll be taking the picture to work with me tomorrow to scan into the computer first thing, and you can bet your britches I'll be posting that sucker everywhere I can!!

Mom asked me after my appointment if I felt "more pregnant" than I had a few hours before. Absolutely!! During the beginning of the second trimester, there are no constant reminders to prove to you that you're still pregnant. The bump could conceivably just be fat, the nausea's gone, the fatigue has mostly passed, and it's hard to believe sometimes that this tiny little "critter" (as my OB called it, lol) is growing inside you at such an incredible pace. I cannot begin to explain how REAL it felt to see the little one swimming around and know THAT'S OUR BABY.

I'm a happy, happy girl tonight. :o)

Baby Days

Last night, during the most exciting moment in sports history, Barry Bonds hit his 756th career home run in San Francisco. Fireworks erupted, fans cheered, and Barry was handed a mike to give a little on-field speech. A prerecorded message from Hank Aaron played on the big screen, congratulating Barry on his accomplishment, and it was all terribly thrilling.

During it all, I kept thinking, "How amazing that I'll be able to tell my child that I sat here, rubbing my swollen belly with them hiding inside, while this historic event took place."

These are the days I have dubbed "Baby Days".

Today is certainly another one, or perhaps part of the same cycle of baby obsession I was experiencing late last night. I cannot help but look in the mirror every time I pass, staring pointedly at my abdomen and the bulging area that houses my little one. My hands won't seem to stay off my bump, caressing it, as if I thought the baby could feel the loving gestures inside. Every thought seems centered around my baby, and if it's not directly related to my child, I find a way to make the connection. The world just seems like this incredibly beautiful, miraculous, wonderful place, all because I know that this child is on its way.

I'm sure I'm a little obnoxious on days like today. I'm distracted, floating around in this blissful daze, and EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth seems to surround this pregnancy and my little miracle. I can't focus on anything that doesn't involve prenatal health, fetal development, or counting the weeks until I can feel the first kicks (although my baby is already kicking, but the little legs are still too small to feel!). In our home, I'm mentally mapping out where we'll put each new baby thing. Where the crib will go, the changing table, my rocker, where I'll store the bottles and the diapers and the diaper cream. At work, I'm imagining being so large I won't fit behind my desk comfortably, how I'll manage maternity leave, what I'll do when it's time to return to work and I don't want to tear myself away from my baby. And throughout it all, I see little angelic faces of what our child may look like, a chubby-cheeked compilation of Asher's eyes and hair, my nose and smile, and a hint of something that is neither one of us and both of us simultaneously.

It's true: I'm madly in love with this baby! And today is a Baby Day, so if you don't want to hear ALL about it, you'd better just keep your distance and leave me alone in my dreamworld. :o)

Better Late Than Never!

I finally brought the sonogram image from my June 15th appointment and scanned it into the computer at work this morning. It's hard to make anything out because I was only 6 weeks and 3 days into the pregnancy (so the baby was only 4 weeks old!), but *I* can see the baby, and the arrows pointing to it help. ;o)

The arrow points to a little white blob with a little white blob coming off the side of it. The elongated figure on the left part is the baby, with the round part sticking out to the right being the yolk sac. The head's on top, and that brighter spot of white in the middle of the baby is where we could see the flashing of the heart beat!

Of course, I'm having another ultrasound a week from tomorrow, so I should theoretically have more clear, telling pictures to scan then. For now, though, this is Baby's First Picture!! :oD